Contrary to popular opinion, not all teenage crises will appear out of the blue and because of its unexpected appearance, render parents helpless to change the situation for the better. There are always warning signs – and you just have to know what you’re look for.

5 Warning Signs of Teenage Crises for Parents to Take Note of:

 Change in Academic Grades – Most teenagers who are experiencing serious problems – mental, psychological, or emotional – would usually end up letting their grades slip although this may be unintentionally or otherwise. If your child used to have straight A’s all the time and yet all of a sudden, other letters start showing up in his report card, it’s definitely a sign that there’s trouble on the horizon. Ideally, a positive change in academic grades is something to welcome – and you definitely should if you see ample proof that your child is finally working hard to do well in school. But if there’s no visible evidence to support this change, and further probing reveals that your child isn’t just studying in another setting, then this could be considered a warning sign as well.

Extreme Reluctance to Communicate – It’s normal for teenagers to feel a generation gap between them and their parents. If your child used to tell you all his secrets and then stops upon entering high school, this can still be considered normal. At this stage of his life, he feels that he’s able to be more open to people closer to his age. If, however, his reluctance to communicate with and to you is carried to the extremes, this can then be considered another warning sign of a potential teenage crisis. If your teenager seems to go out of his way just to avoid talking with you then there’s a possibility that he’s hiding something and he’s unhappy about the fact that he is. Teenagers may bear strikingly adult-like features in the surface, but inside, they’re still children and their immaturity makes them unable to handle the guilt and pressure of keeping secrets.

Change in Friends – If you’re not aware of who your teenager is friends with then it’s time you learn because friends have a significant role in every teenager’s life. Birds of the same feather flock together, and this continues to hold water in today’s world. If you notice that your teenager is hanging out with a different set of friends, do your best to learn why. If the reason provided seems to be too vague or insufficient then yes, this is yet another warning sign. If you notice distinct dissimilarities between your teenager and with the people he considers as friends, this should also be taken as a warning sign. Diversity is always good, but it’s important that you make sure his friends are not exercising negative influence or peer pressure over him.

Change in Interest and Acquiring New Ones – Hobbies are activities that a person derives personal fun from, and it’s important as well that you know what your teenager’s hobbies are. That way, in the event that your teenager suddenly switches hobbies for no apparent reason, you’ll be able to notice it and consequently probe for the reason behind it. Naturally, it’s understandable for your teenager to lose interest in toys and consequently become fascinated with sport cars. But developing a sudden interest in the clothes of the opposite sex, or something equally disturbing is definitely a cause for concern.

Change in Attitude – The most important warning sign to take note of is a change in attitude. Usually, behavioral changes take a gradual pattern. A usually even-tempered teenager may start, for instance, by raising his voice and then proceed to throwing tantrums or even cussing. If your teenager is showing more and more alarming signs of not being his usual self, that’s not teenage angst but something definitely more serious. In the end, however, no precursor of teenage problem, no matter how obvious it appears, will be noticeable if you don’t know your kids well enough in the first place. Know and love your children well, and let them know that you care. Doing so will not only help you notice the warning signs if and when they do appear but they can also help prevent any teenage crisis from taking place as well.

PEER PREVENTION
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Ways to Prevent Your Teenager from Being Defeated by Peer Pressure Strictly speaking, the concept of peer pressure only refers to verbal or non-verbal pressure to perform a certain action that is common to an individual’s peers – or people he’s similar to in age, gender, race, or any other condition – and nothing else. It can be taken in a positive light, for instance, if it’s used to prevent other people from succumbing to drug abuse. Unfortunately and more often than not, the negative aspect of peer pressure is what occurs in the world and most especially with teenagers.

Factors that Increase the Risk of Teenagers Becoming Victims of Peer Pressure Physical Differences – A person who’s physically different in some way or another with his peers is always at the risk of becoming a victim of peer pressure. If the physical difference is especially noticeable – such as his skin color, his accent, or having a physical defect – this makes him all the more vulnerable.

Mental Differences – Knowing that you’re mentally inferior or superior to your peers can also make a person be more vulnerable to peer pressure.

Social and Cultural Differences – A person brought up differently from his peers, he will also feel peer pressure. If he belongs to a middle class family and yet his peers belong to the society’s crème de la crème, he will also feel peer pressure.

Absence of Self-Confidence – When a teenager doesn’t have confidence in himself, he’ll feel peer pressure even when there’s none simply because he doesn’t feel good about himself.

Ways to Help Your Teenager Fight Peer Pressure Tip

#1 Teaching about Equality and Uniqueness of Human Beings It’s essential for you to teach your teenager the basic truths about mankind. Firstly, each and every person is unique and this uniqueness must be respected and treasured. Secondly, all people – no matter who or what they are – are fundamentally equal and that’s why everyone deserves to be treated with respect. These are simple truths, but they’re especially difficult to teach your teenager because it has a philosophical context to it. Nevertheless, you need to make your teenager understand this tip because not only will it prevent him from succumbing to peer pressure but it can also prevent him from exercising peer pressure as well.

Tip #2 Common Issues and Causes for Peer Pressure You can help your teenager not only fight peer pressure but also help him avoid having to do so in the first place. Taking up vices, for instance, is a common cause for peer pressure but he can easily avoid encountering this problem by hanging out with friends who have a similar dislike for taking up drugs, smoking, or drinking. Make him understand that peer pressure usually occurs intentionally and from people who only feign being friends. Real friends do not exert pressure over each other. Teaching your teenager this lesson will make him act more carefully when choosing whom he wishes to hang out with.

Tip #3 Help Your Teenager Love Himself Confidence only develops from loving one’s self. And if a person has enough confidence and self-esteem, these will go a long way in protecting him from the harms of peer pressure. If your teenager displays any attitude that speaks of low self-esteem, you need to take a proactive role in helping him gain confidence in himself. And the only way to do that is by showing him that you care – even if he has done something wrong or when he hasn’t done something exceptionally well. Let him know that your love is unconditional and why it’s so. Let him know that each person deserves to be loved for who he really is, and it’s why resorting and succumbing to peer pressure are two actions that directly oppose this truth.

Tip #4 Help Your Teenager Know Himself It’s possible for a well-rounded and confident teenager to still end up becoming a victim of peer pressure simply because he lacks identity and purpose. As a parent, it’s your role to help him know who he really is, where he stands in the world, and who he wants to be in the future. Helping him shape an identity for himself as well as determine his purpose in life will teach your teenager to know and understand better the difference between right and wrong and the importance of doing the right thing – which in this case would be not to give in to peer pressure.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TEEN TRUANCY
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Tips on How to Deal with Teen Truancy Truancy, or absenteeism from school, is something that mostly occurs during a child’s teenage years. This is to be expected, as it’s also during this stage that school becomes less fun and more serious while teenagers discover at the same time more pleasures to be had outside school.

What the Numbers Say about Teen Truancy The numbers from a report made by the San Bernardino district attorney’s office in California reveal an ugly and disturbing truth about teen truancy. According to the report, less than eighty percent of prison inmates have truancy listed as their first offense. And a little above eighty percent of prison inmates are school dropouts – which can be the same fate for teenage truants if they’re left to their own devices. The report also found out that truants are more likely to take drugs or alcohol, commit violence, or become involved with gangs.

These numbers reveal that teen truancy should never be considered a minor problem by parents. In fact, it can be the seed that will sow future and worse sins for their children if it’s allowed to grow. These numbers urge parents – you – to act now if you don’t want your child to end up with the same fate.

Possible Indicators of Teen Truancy Your child faces a higher risk of becoming a truant if he or she displays any of the following symptoms:

Attention Problems – Attention problems such as an inability to stay focused for a long period of time is a good indicator of teenage truancy. The inability to stick till the end and completing goals can also be considered a symptom of teenage truancy.

Retention in Grade – If a child has been required to stay behind his level more than once, he may ultimately and completely lose interest in school and become a truant; of course, multiple retention caused by innate mental deficiencies are an exception to the rule.

Substandard Academic Performance – If your child has been getting low grades year after year, this may be an indicator for possible teenage truancy.

Possible Causes for Teen Truancy Behavior Problems – If your child displays any abnormal behavior – such as feelings of extreme laziness or having a strong tendency to become violent, this could cause him to become a truant.

Insufficient Self-Confidence or Lack of Self-Esteem – Lacking confidence in one’s self can also cause him to lack interest in school and consequently become a truant.

Traumatic and Life-Changing Events – An abnormal family atmosphere, moving homes, changing schools, death, or even witnessing a violent or disturbing act – anything that can cause a teenager to experience trauma or have his life changed completely can all influence him to become a truant.

5 Tips on How to Deal with Truancy Consider the role that the school plays in your teenager’s life.
Is the management style of the school something you feel that prevents or helps your child to become a truant? If you find out that the school isn’t being run the way you envisioned it should then it’s no big surprise that your child is no longer interested in attending classes. If this is the root of the problem, transfer your child to another school – and make sure this time that it adheres to your standards.
Know who your child’s friends are and determine if they’re a good or bad influence on your child. If they seem to be the bad sort then it’s possible that they’re the reasons for your child to show increasing signs of becoming a truant. Let your child know gently and truthfully why hanging out with such friends isn’t good for him. Advise, and not forbid. Emphasize the benefits of changing instead of focusing on the disadvantages of staying in his present course.

 Communicate more with your child. Do your best to determine why he doesn’t want to go to school. Show and prove to your child that you’re worthy of his trust. Make him feel loved. Make your child understand that your love for him is unconditional, and that nothing he’s doing right now will change this fact. Showing him your love and support will give him the confidence to reveal whatever reasons he has for acting the way he is. And lastly, if nothing else proves successful, do not hesitate to seek professional help. You will prove to become more inadequate if you let your pride rule your actions and prevent you from asking help when you need it most.

DEALING WITH TEEN DEPRESSION
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The Undeniable Truth about Teen Depression You can do your best to become a good parent, and your teenage child may do his best to become a good son or daughter, but depression may still occur and worse, persist. Teen depression is not a mere occurrence but a sickness. Teen depression, however, can’t always be blamed on either the parent or the child. Sometimes it just happens but in any case, the most important thing you should do is help your teenage child recover from it and move on.

The Reality of Teen Depression In 2002, a study conducted by Brown University revealed that many parents fail to recognize symptoms of teen depression – and this even includes parents who actually have good communication with their teenage children. Other studies further reveal more saddening news about teen depression. 1 out of 8 adolescents may suffer from teen depression. And for the thousands who are suffering from a variety of mental, emotional, and behavioral problems of different ranges, only thirty percent of them receive any actual help or treatment. The rest are left to struggle by their own.

The National Institute of Mental Health also reports that teenage girls have a higher probability towards depression than teenage boys.

Symptoms of Teenage Depression As a rule, any symptom of occasional sadness (which is typical among teenagers) – or when your teenager is having a particularly rough day – can be considered a symptom of teenage depression if it occurs longer and more often than usual or in a worse level.

Physical Changes – If your teenager has lost or gained weight for no apparent reason, this could be taken as a symptom of teenage depression as it often affects a teenager’s eating habits, making him eat less or more than usual or in an irregular manner. Extreme changes in appearance can also be considered a symptom for teenage depression.

Change in School Performance – As long as the change is so far unexplainable, a change in your teenager’s performance in school can be construed as a symptom for teenage depression. Being overly active may mean that he’s using school to escape his problems. Losing interest or having too much absence from class on the other hand may mean that your child is unable to cope with his problems any longer.

Change in Attitude and Behavior – Generally speaking, depressed teenagers are prone to having sudden attacks of rage and guilt. They become more sensitive to criticism, display a sudden inability to concentrate or make a decision, and lose interest in the things that they used to love doing.

Medical Changes – In the worst cases, teenage depression can cause affected individuals to suffer from panic attacks, insomnia, and even hallucinations. If these symptoms are visible in your child, you should get help immediately because they indicate a high risk for suicide. Although the thought of your child taking his or her own life seems too preposterous, it can happen and it has indeed happened already to many other families. Studies have revealed that suicide is actually the sixth leading cause of death for children between ages 5 to 14.

Possible Causes for Teen Depression Life-Changing Events – Divorce in the family, the death of a loved one, or even something as innocuous as moving to a new school can easily be a cause for teen depression.

 Traumatic Events – Getting into an accident, becoming a victim of a particular crime, or having a loved one endure an accident or tragedy, and any other cause for a teenager to feel trauma may also consequently cause him to experience depression.

Stress – Teenagers are not immune to stress, and it can come from school, his peers, or from his very own family. If he becomes unable to cope with the stress and has no emotional pillar to lean on for support, this eventually becomes a cause for depression.

Transitional Changes – The teenage phase of everyone’s life is the phase where physical and physiological changes occur outside and within his body. These changes may also cause depression if there’s no one to explain about it and provide reassurances.

There are many other possible causes for teen depression. The fact, indeed, may be endless, so it’s important to continuously show your love and support for your children as these may in the end his only defense against it. Preventing and Curing Teen Depression The best way to prevent your teenager from suffering from depression is by giving him a happy life to the best of your ability and constantly making him feel your love and support. If however he ends up or is already suffering from depression, seek professional help immediately.

IS YOUR TEEN IN A GANG?
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9 Ways to Know If Your Teen is in a Gang Every teenager is at risk of joining a gang no matter how happy or comfortable his life is at the moment. Of course, teenagers with problematic backgrounds – males especially – are especially at risk, but in the end, every parent should take considerable care in watching out for possible signs of gang involvement for their child.

9 Ways to Know If Your Teen is in a Gang

Grades that Go Down and Down As a teenager becomes more and more involved with gangs, he usually has less and less time for school. Naturally, this will have an inevitable and negative impact on his academics. Thus, make sure that you consistently monitor your child’s academic standing and if there are any startling changes, do what you can to know the reason behind it.

Too Much Money in Their Hands One of the irresistible lures of gang involvement is the money that you can gain from it. If you notice that your teenager seems to be spending more than he should, you should directly confront him and ask where his money is coming from. If his reasoning is insufficient, take the necessary action to determine the source of all his money.

Changing Friends If your teenager suddenly has a different set of friends, view and evaluate them without bias: are they from the same school? Are they of the same age? Do they seem harmless to you? Ask your child as well what happened to his old set of friends. Ask him what he does when he’s spending time with his new set of friends.

Changing Looks Teenagers who usually join gangs end up having an image makeover as well. This may not be noticeable outright if your teenager has always been wearing clothes that are either considered “cool” or “scary” by his peers, but physical changes may be apparent if your child used to dress conservatively and then out of the blue, he’s sporting a hairstyle or an outfit that’s totally out of character.

Symbols of Gang Involvement Most, if not all, gangs have their own secret symbols and trademarks. If you happen to notice anything – may they be a set of letters or shapes – indecipherable posted in your child’s things or room then this could also be considered a sign of gang involvement. Of course, make sure first that it’s not just a simple hieroglyphic logo for your teenager’s Egyptian History club.

 Confidence that’s Bordering on Brash If your child was previously timid and without self-esteem, it’s naturally good to see him overflowing with confidence…but wait! Is he merely confident or is his attitude bordering on brash and arrogant? Gang involvement typically makes a teenager have an inflated ego because it allows him to enjoy connections to intimidating personalities.

Taking Up Vices There is rarely – if ever – a gang that will prohibit its members from smoking or taking alcohol or drugs. More often than not, gangs will actually encourage their members from taking up vices because it gives them another means of control. If you discover your teenager to be guilty of any such vices and you didn’t raise him to act that way then that’s another indicator of gang involvement.

Disregarding Family Ties and Emotional Bonds Gangs also generally prefer their members to completely disregard family ties and other emotional bonds because they’re aware that families and loved ones hold considerable influence over a person’s life. Families and loved ones can make a person ignore and lose interest in all the lures that gangs will use as bait. If your child used to be loving and dedicated to your family and distances himself from you, that’s another sign of gang involvement.

Displays of Over Anxiety and Nervousness If your teenager is in a gang, there will come a time that he’ll be involved in a dangerous situation. If he’s lucky enough to escape such a situation alive, being involved for the first time in a life-and-death situation will cause him to display unreasonable anxiety and nervousness. If and when you finally obtain confirmed proof that your child is indeed involved in a gang, it’s important that you confront him immediately, not with anger and accusation but with love and concern. There’s all the hope to save your child from further gang involvement so make sure that you don’t give up on your child.

IS YOUR TEEN VIOLENT?
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Parenting and Teen Violence Teen violence is probably the most common problem our society faces today. You may be surprised to learn that violence among teens is rapidly rising. These violent incidents not only happen in schools but also in homes, parks and other public places.

Teen violence is fast becoming an epidemic. Every one of us is aware of the dangers of tolerating teen violence. For one, your teen will suffer from academic underachievement. Despite good school facilities, even intelligent teens won’t be able to learn if they’re somehow involved in violence. They even run the risk of becoming one of those out-of-school youths who frequently end up in jail. Those exposed to violence in their teens are less likely to achieve their goals. Studies have shown that violence during the teenage years have a great effect on the person’s attitude. They tend to resolve conflicts violently in their future years.

If you don’t address the violence issues your teen is currently facing, it would be too hard for him to help himself years from now. The worst that could happen to violent teens is death. Violence in teens is usually caused by a lot of mental problems. Traumatic situations, stress and family problems contribute to the causes why a teen resorts to violence. Don’t wait until these issues get the best of him. If your teen couldn’t take it anymore, he might just commit suicide. Although the government is right in investing in rehabilitation centers and jails, these are not the best ways to minimize teen violence. Jails and rehabilitation centers only protect the societies from violent teenagers.

How do you protect your teens themselves?

 We must focus on preventing teen violence to substantially cut down on teen violence. There are several factors that contribute to teen violence. Most of them are the things that happen at home. Thus, it can be safely said that parents and the other members of the household are the primary reasons why a teen behaves violently. Thus, being the primary reasons, household members can also do a lot in preventing this kind of violent attitude.

Adults should clearly communicate with their teens how to resolve problems without ever resorting to violence. This could be more effective if you also avoid physical punishment whenever your teens get into trouble. Teens usually look up to the people they live with. Interestingly, parents influence their teens to be violent, without even knowing how. As parents, we surely don’t like our kids being bullied, thus, we may even encourage them to fight back to their enemies. This gives your teen the idea that fighting back is good, when it is not. Fighting back equates to violence.

Your teens should be taught the best ways to deal with bullies. It’s definitely not in engaging in a violent behavior. Parents should clearly show their kids that violence is not a way to resolve interpersonal problems. Tolerating this kind of attitude will give the teen an impression that violence is good. Soon, they’ll be more violent than you can imagine. You might think that by simply encouraging your child to fight back when somebody pushes him or her is a good way to keep him or her safe. Self defense is simply not taught that way.

Dealing with teens is really difficult. Most of the time, it’s difficult to teach them a lesson or give them a piece of advice. A teens first instinct is to rebel. They have the tendency to go against everything you want them to do. Your best bet is to become their friend, albeit also difficult. But if you’ve successfully developed a good relationship with your teen, you can easily bail them out of their vices. Alcohol and drugs usually go hand in hand with violence.

Punishment is the worst way to help a troubled teen. If, no matter what you do your teen won’t listen to you, you can solicit the help of other members of your household. It should be a collective effort. You can also count on your teen’s school for assistance. A lot of schools have in-house psychologists who can sometimes talk it out with your teen. Resolving teen violence requires a lot of time and effort. You need to be very patient with your kid. Teens resorting to violence are just victims of their troubled life. They also need help.

YOUR TEEN AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE
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Keep Your Teens Away From Drug Abuse

Drug and alcohol abuse is very common among teenagers nowadays. If not remedied soon enough, this can lead to dreadful consequences. Teens taking illegal substances or are alcoholic are reportedly to be very likely to commit criminal acts such as rape, assault or murder. Recent studies have shown that drug abuse is one of the primary reasons of deaths of people between 14 to 23 years of age. Their deaths may not be directly connected to drug or alcohol abuse, but in some way or another, their dependence on these illegal substances has somehow driven them to their deaths.

If a teenager suddenly becomes aloof from the other members of your household, you have the right to be suspicious. Any unusual behaviors can possibly be caused by drug abuse. Some physical signs showing drug abuse that you might want to check on are red eyes and a nagging cough. Drug abuse also causes abrupt changes in your teen’s eating and sleeping habits. A drug user also shows deteriorating school performance and social skills. Teens into substance abuse suffer from insomnia, convulsions, irritability, anxiety, paranoia, memory loss, violent behavior, memory loss and panic attacks, among others. Other more severe effects are hypothermia, brain damage, and eventually death. Even if your family doesn’t have any history of drug dependence and alcohol abuse, this doesn’t keep your teens safe.

A teenager, especially someone who has poor social skills, can easily be tempted to try these illegal substances. A simple experimentation can eventually lead to a level of complete dependency. Those with a family history of drug abuse should be especially careful to abstain from experimenting. If you know that your teen is already taking drugs, it is important that you talk this out with him as soon as possible. The least you could do is to lay down the disadvantages and advantages, if there are, on taking drugs. Usually, those teens that are into drugs and alcohol just need a bit more attention and a little kick back to the right direction. You can schedule a little heart to heart chitchat with your teen. Ask him what he likes about taking drugs. You’ll probably hear something like the following: Sense of belonging.

 Teens take drugs because it somehow gives them a feeling of being one of the group. Makes them feel more grown up. Media shows that drug users are cool and tough. Drug users are portrayed to be those strong, full grown men. For entertainment. You’ll be surprised to learn that most teens take drugs just for the heck of it. They don’t have anything else to do and that’s why they try to dull their senses for a few hours. Those are the primary reasons of drug and alcohol abuse. You won’t be able to find any other more plausible reasons than those mentioned above. When your teen has finished laying down the “benefits” of drugs and alcohol, then it’ll be your time to show him what he’s missing, or what he’s going to miss should he choose to continue being dependent on drugs.

The primary thing against drugs is the great possibility of being caught. The police are very strict on selling and using drugs. If caught, you’ll be required to pay huge fees for an attorney and court fines. Of course, he could forever lose his driving privileges. He could even have his car forfeited or impounded if suspected that it has been used for the purchase or sale of drugs. Criminal records would make it hard for him to get the job he wants and pursue his dreams. Without money, how would he have fun or go out on a date? Illegal drug users are very likely to end up in a jail, ruin their lives and end up with a life of misery. Continued drug usage leads to loss of parents’ trust. Parents think twice before lending him money or a car.

Parents could only support so much, and if only he’s doing his part of the deal, e.g. good school attendance, better performance. It’s pretty obvious that following the rules is a much better choice. There are so many things that you can suggest your teen do just to take him off of drugs and alcohol. There are a lot of sport programs that he can enroll in. Encourage him to be active in extracurricular activities in school. After a good talk with your teen, he should be able to realize that his best choice is to live a drug-free life. Life is very tragic for those into substance abuse.

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WHEN YOUR TEEN RUNS AWAY
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How To Deal With Runaway Teens In this modern society, too often we hear of teens running away from home. If our teens run away, this doesn’t mean we have been a bad parent. There are a lot of factors that could have affected a child’s decision to run away. However, as parents, we take on the primary responsibilities of our child’s actions. We live together with them, and thus, we probably have the biggest influence on their decisions. Although it’s not our fault, we can do a lot to resolve issues with a runaway teen. T

he best thing we could possibly do about teens running away is before they actually do it. The moment you notice something is bothering your child, don’t put it off just as something that he can resolve on his own. Although teens nowadays are well provided with material things, there are still a lot of emotional factors that could bother him. It is during his teenage years that a person needs the most love and acceptance he can get.

Prior to running away, your teen could be suffering from low school performance or maybe showing poor social skills. He could keep aloof even from the other members of your household. Encourage your teen to participate in social groups or in extracurricular activities. This could help him feel that sense of belonging he is probably looking for. However, when your child runs away, the most we could probably do is pray that they don’t fall in with the wrong person who might just show him false hopes on love and acceptance, and then in the end, give the bitterest of all disappointments. T

eens are very vulnerable to such persons, especially if they initially find themselves at ease with them. These persons could be her boyfriend or his girlfriend, or his group of friends. Once your teen runs away, you would probably be spending most of your time crying and begging for them to come back. You would probably promise yourself that you’d be able to work things out with them and do your best to do so. However, it might already be a little difficult to talk it out with a runaway child. It is still possible, yes, but a little more difficult.

When your teen runs away, don’t ever drag them back home. It would only worsen the issue. What you could do is have a little heart to heart talk with them. Don’t force them to give you an answer. Don’t punish them. Don’t accuse them of any crimes. Being angry won’t get you anywhere. You need to establish a fair conversation with your teen so you could determine the reasons why they left. If your teen trusts you enough, he should be able to honestly tell you why he left. Knowing the real reason behind the act is very important because this is where you would start to address the issue.

If it’s not something at home, it could only be a problem at school. You should be able to talk them into resolving conflicts with a bully. However, the much bigger problem lies if his relationship with you has been tarnished. He might not be able to openly talk about things with you. In these cases, you would need to solicit the help of a professional such as a psychologist or child therapist to determine what needs to be resolved within the home.

You should work with him side by side in order for you to determine what would be the best solution so he won’t run away again. Your teen should be able to understand that running away is dangerous and could not possibly be a real solution to whatever problem he is facing. When your teen runs away, there is something that’s pushing him to do so, and start a new life. This usually happens to a child who has lost all hope thinking he’ll be better off somewhere in a new place, and with a new group of people.

Remember that you’re not always to blame if your child runs away. There are a lot of factors that could have prevented us from giving the child the kind of attention he wants. However, we could still do so much. Just make sure that your heart and your door is open whenever he feels like coming back home.

IS YOUR TEEN AN UNDER-ACHIEVER?
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Helping Underachievers The world is becoming more and more competitive each day. We can’t just sit around and wait for things to happen. We need to be a bit more aggressive and take a confident place in the world. This is an adult’s point of view.

Achievement is always equated with excellence in every aspect. For a child, however, it maybe a quite a little bit different. Teens have different criteria on what could be considered an achievement for them. As a parent, you might consider your child an achiever only in terms of good academic performance. But teens involve themselves in more than just academics nowadays. A lot of teens are into sports such as soccer, baseball and basketball. They could also be into the creative arts of painting, dancing and acting. T

here are a lot of things that a teen can do these days. There are a lot of areas in which he could be an achiever. Before we assess if our teen is doing things up to his capabilities, we must first examine the areas in which he would prefer to achieve. Parents tend to believe that they have somehow developed a super teen, somebody who can do everything excellently. But the truth is, a teen can only do so much. He won’t be able to perform each task with smooth perfection. He might achieve in one area but perform poorly in another. Sometimes, however, teens need a bit of guidance in choosing where best to channel their abilities.

The most common case of underachievement is when a kid wrongly exerts his effort in a different outlet. For example, instead of doing his homework, or maybe practicing his football game, your teen could be out on the streets. Or even if your teen has an undeniable very high IQ, he doesn’t do very well at school because he could be too lazy to work on his projects.

Parents would like to believe that their teen is good at something. They are usually right. Parents should know what each of their children is good at. They get disappointed whenever they see their otherwise intelligent teen getting low grades in class. You could probably break their hearts if you don’t perform well in your sport or arts class. If you feel that your child is an underachiever, and doesn’t really utilize all his potential, there are a few things that you can do. You cannot do so much in developing your child’s interest about something he’s really not interested in, but you can help him perform better in other areas.

Show how proud he makes you feel. Regardless if he’s the star of his basketball team, or received the highest honor in his class, make him feel that you approve of what he’s doing. Upon seeing the approval and acceptance they’re looking for, teens develop the need to make you feel more proud. You’d soon find him practicing for a game, or studying in advance for his lectures.

Give him your all-out support. Try to make it in all of his games, or in all of his theater plays. If he says he needs to do this and do that for his projects, allow him to. Make him feel that when you trust him he’ll perform better. Never put a barrier on his success. Sometimes parents unknowingly limit their teen’s success such as not allowing them to practice late at night, or maybe travel a bit more for his science project. And the most important thing you can do to make your teen perform to his fullest potential is to be his friend.

Talk to him often. Discuss his fears and dreams. If you have developed a good relationship with him, he is more likely to do things to impress you. He is more likely to listen to your advice. This is helpful especially these days especially when drug and alcohol abuse is rampant among teenagers. However, parents are only there to guide their children. You can’t make decisions for them every time. You can’t impose your interests on them. Having a good childhood is extremely important for success in later life.

For now, you might think your teen is not an achiever, but if he’s got a good childhood to look back to, he’ll easily be able to catch up later in life.

RESPONSIBILITY, CHORES AND YOUR TEEN.
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Work and Your Teens A teenager doing household chores does not only help his parents but also himself. Doing chores develops a sense of responsibility and self esteem. If you have taught your child to do household chores early in his life, chances are, you’ll have a more harmonious family life. Doing household chores is also one way to foster cooperation. Sometimes, like when doing dishes together with your kid or mowing the lawn, it could even be considered as a bonding session.

Teens exposed to chores at an early stage learn the value of following a schedule and working on a task, and feels the satisfaction of finishing a job well done. Teens also feel a sense of belonging when they do their part of keeping a clean and healthy home environment. If you have not brought up your kid to do chores early in their lives, it may be a little harder for you to get them to work during their teenage years. However, it’s worth every effort that you insist or persist that your teen does his share of the workload.

You might want to use some form of a reward system. Of course, it won’t be a chocolate bar at the end of the day. You can say, “Mow the lawn and I could probably lend you the car on Saturday”, or maybe, “See what you can do around the house, and then we’ll see what we can do with your allowance”. Teens normally won’t do things without explicit benefits. They wouldn’t waste their time doing chores if they won’t be able to get something out of it. Most of them would rather be outside and hang out with their friends than stay at home and do some boring household chores. But if you have clearly communicated to your teen the values of cooperation and responsibility, and top it off with some incentives, he might listen to you.

 However, most teens nowadays would also prefer getting a part time job instead. The society has imbedded early in a person’s life the importance of money. Money means power. Money means she can shop for her own clothes, go to the movies, and probably even get a car. Money is equivalent to freedom. If your teen wants to get a job, you should not discourage him. Talk to him and lay down the advantages and disadvantages of getting a job. Sure, there’s a possibility that he may not be able to perform as well in school, or that he could lose a lot of free time for himself. But jobs also have a lot of advantages.

Having a part time job will teach your teen to become more responsible. They learn how to effectively manage their schedules and their money. A job can teach a teen significant lessons that a school cannot. It also develops in him a sense of confidence and independence. Also, jobs would keep your teen away from bad influence such as alcohol and drugs. Instead of strolling in the streets, your teen could be dutifully working.

However, before you consider getting your teen a job, you should weigh all options. If he really wants to get a job, you might bargain with him. Ask him to work for only a certain number of hours and then maybe if he’s still able to keep up his grades, he can work more hours on the next term.

There are also laws that govern teens and jobs. Most laws prohibit teens from working before 7am and after 7pm. Teens also should not work in clubs or in places selling liquor. Workplaces that pose certain hazards such as in electrical jobs or in doing heavy work are also off limits to teenagers. There are also restrictions on the number of hours a teenager can work. Usually, it’s eight hours per day or twenty-eight hours per school week.

The most common job is babysitting or doing paper routes. Your teen could work at somebody else’s home, in a shop or in stables. The amount a teen can earn depends on his employer and the type of job he takes. The law on minimum wages does not apply to those under sixteen years of age. You are lucky to have a teen who would want to secure a job. This just shows that he’s on his way to maturity. Still, your teen needs your guidance and constant communication.

Maintaining good relationships from around him, getting good grades and keeping a social life are all important in the development of your child.

IS YOUR TEEN ADD, ADHD OR BIPOLAR?
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How to know if your teen is ADHD, bi-polar or ADD? Believe it or not, statistics show that about three to five percent of kids in the US have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or better known as ADD/ADHD. This roughly translates to about two million kids.

First things first, what is ADHD or ADD?
 ADHD or ADD described ADHD or ADD is characterized by a particular individual’s poor ability to regulate his self. Someone who has ADD finds it difficult to inhibit his or her own spontaneous and immediate responses. One trait of a person who has ADD is his tuning out automatically, where present minded awareness is non-existing and such a person finds that he has actually heard and seen nothing of whatever it is he has been looking at or listening. They also have the tendency to forget the things they were actually concentrating on. This therefore results in a person missing out on information completely, misplacing stuff and not being able to keep up with conversations.

To know if your child has ADHD or ADD, check for the following signs. Take note that though symptoms vary for each child, such as some teens may appear to be a bit hyperactive while some are under-active, most have difficulty paying attention. Though there are persons who could be absent-minded, fidgety, restless and impulsive, sufferers of ADHD or ADD experience such symptoms a lot more often.

Basic signs you should look out for include a child’s penchant to ignore some details as well as make some careless errors. One also experiences some difficulty listening and sustaining his attention when addressed directly. A child also has difficulty finishing projects or tasks and following some instructions. A person also tends to be forgetful, distracted and disorganized. The fact of the matter is though teens with ADHD or ADD do pay attention, the problem lies in the content they are trying to pay attention to, how long as well as the specific circumstances.

Other signs and symptoms of ADHD or ADD include a person’s difficulty to sit still. They could dash all around the room, roam and incessantly talk, squirm in their own seats. They also tend to bounce from one act to another. Diagnosis for an ADHD or ADD sufferer becomes valid when a child has all three ADHD or ADD characteristics such as inattentiveness, impulsivity and hyperactivity. The important thing to remember is that ADHD or ADD is not a choice. Such a condition is caused by conditions or events that are neurological in origin.

Believe it or not, teens with ADHD or ADD are also considered creative. Such type of thinking makes one open to insights that are rare and are especially useful in fields such as music, art, and science. Other positive aspects of ADHD or ADD include liveliness, spontaneity, and flexibility.

Meanwhile, there is another disorder teens may also suffer from called bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is what?
This particular disorder is distinguished by mood swings that range from low to high. Those who experience such are also called manic-depressive. They experience repeated mood swings in one day or for months on. Usually, such people also go through a mood that is fairly calm between the differing extremes. Bipolar disorder’s high mood is termed as mania while a bipolar disorder’s low mood is depression.

The fact of the matter is that such a disorder could disrupt severely one’s normal activities such as school, work or relationships. Those who experience bipolar disorder have lows where getting out of bed is difficult. During the manic period, people could feel energized and may engage in spending sprees, experience almost no sleep, overindulge themselves in alcohol or drugs as well as engage in some sexually risky activities. Other signs of bipolar disorder include grandiosity or self-esteem that is inflated; one also becomes a lot more chatty, irritable, aggressive and intrusive.

 Adolescents who have bipolar disorder are irritable and have tantrums that may be destructive. Added signs include a hopeless feeling, a discouraged and empty sensation; inability to experience pleasure, including hobbies, sex and social activities. Another sign is weight gain or weight loss as well as oversleeping or insomnia. All in all, ADD or ADHD as well as bipolar disorder are treatable.

Basically, you need to have a lot of compassion, understanding and patience when interacting with teens or people who have these disorders.

IS YOUR TEEN AT RISK FOR SUICIDE?
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Know if your teen is a suicide risk There are signs and warnings to be able to know if your teen or someone you know is at risk and depressed and could be planning an attempt on his life.

The following are some of the signs to lookout for.

Check if your teen is starting to pull away from his friends or is losing a particular desire to socialize and go out.

Another sign is when one is having trouble thinking and concentrating clearly.

 There may also be changes in one’s sleeping and eating habits as well as changes in appearance, such as a usually neat and tidy person becoming sloppy in appearance and have no interest in taking care of themselves.

Another sign is if there are talks of actual suicide or seems to be talking about death.

One may also start talking about moving or going away.

Other signs include engaging in behavior that is self-destructive such as alcohol-drinking, drug-taking or lethally fast driving.

There may also be little desire in engaging in activities that normally was his favorite.

He may also begin to give away favorite possessions.

There may also be varying moods, from one that is sad or depressed, to one that is cheerful and happy.

Paying keen attention to such clues could actually help save a life. Believe it or not, a teen who may be considering suicide are actually more than willing to talk and discuss his plans to one who is genuinely concerned and actually cares. Unfortunately, adults seem reluctant to bring up the concept of suicide for fear that it may further give teens a negative idea. This however is false.

Take note that it is important to initiate and ask someone who may be thinking of suicide to bring it out into the open in a sensitive and compassionate manner. Being able to actually talk about suicide diffuses the tension it actually brings. Also, being able to talk about suicide may eventually help a person feel alone less, a lot cared and not as isolated.

The person contemplating suicide may also feel a lot more understood. Also, the person may also consider that there is another positive option besides taking one’s life. Oftentimes, there may be events, a crisis or stress that could actually trigger a behavior that is quite suicidal. These could include divorce of the parents, a relationship breakup, and death. It is important to ask someone who may be going through a particular crisis to ask how he or she is doing, how they cope, and if they have support. Everyone needs support.

How to react when you hear someone wants to attempt suicide.

 It is important not to laugh the idea off or assume that it was simply a joke. Make sure you also do not ignore it. Any of these reactions could prevent you from saving a life. The Association of Suicidology in America has recorded that more than thirty thousand lives every year are taken by suicide. Most of these are in their twenties or are teens. The instant you hear someone contemplate suicide, try not to be afraid to be able to talk about it. When you want to talk about it, this makes the person thinking of taking his life that you are not condemning him for feeling or even thinking of such. Ask the person what she is feeling and the reasons he has such feelings. Also ask if the person has considered a specific suicide method and if there have been particular steps to carry out the suicide plans. Do not be afraid that such a discussion might actually encourage him to still go through with the plan.

 You may have actually saved a life since such a person now knows that someone is more than willing to be his friend. As much as possible, try not to lead the discussion away from the suicide or offer some advise such as, “You are luckier than others, etc.” “You should appreciate what you have, etc.” Try to be very concerned and be a good listener. Be calm. Discuss the topic like you would any other subject. All in all, sensitivity and compassion is needed when such an issue arises. Be calm, trust your instinct, relax and try to seek professional help.

YOUR TEEN AND THE DARK SIDE
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Help your teens avoid cults First things first, cults are movements or groups which exhibit a dedication and devotion that is excessive to a particular idea, thing or person.

Basically, cults use manipulative, unethical techniques in order to persuade its members or advance the cult’s goals. Such techniques have also included brainwashing, behavior control, and coerced persuasion. Cults also have the tendency to isolate its members from friends and family via using methods to be able to increase one’s suggestibility as well as subservience.

Generally, cults have the following characteristics: all its members submit to a leader that is powerful and whose opinions as well as decisions need not be questioned. He also discourages thoughts that are rational. Techniques for cult recruitment are deceptive. For instance, they will not immediately identify their group until you are neck deep into it. Also, leaders have the tendency to weaken the psychological psyche of its members. They also undermine established systems of support such as jobs, schools, families, and friends. Members of cults are also told that the world outside is Satanic and evil and the members of the cult are good and chosen especially to be saved. The leaders of the cult including going to school, bearing kids or marriage, also make any life or career decision.

Members also contribute large amounts of money to the cult that almost always goes to the leaders of the group. Some cults therefore are quite wealthy. Cults are actually quite difficult to know and recognize. It may also be hard to resist and even leave. There are also various types of cults: satanic, new age and political. They basically use the same techniques to be able to control the cult members. This includes peer pressure. They also induce a state of mind that prohibits questioning.

 If there is someone whom you know has joined a cult, they may be in a situation where they have little control of their life. They may also experience psychological and physical negative side effects. It would be best to avoid joining a cult. However, if one has already joined, they need a person they could really trust in order for them to have the needed strength to be able to leave. Take note that there could actually be deep reasons for one to join a particular cult. These could include self-esteem that is low, difficulty having close friends, family conflict and the intense need to belong.

More importantly, such reasons need to be primarily addressed in order for them to be able to make intelligent decisions in the long run. Signs your teen may be in a cult Teens may show signs of frustration and irritability, laziness, depression, nervousness, rebellion as well as discomfort. They may also fish around for possible answers for their problems – usually in the area of relationships, an important issue in their lives.

As much as possible, try to catch any subtleties your teen may have. Also, it is not advisable to minimize whatever it is they are feeling. Always talk with your teens as though such issues are important. Doing so also makes them feel that they are important in your life making them feel validated and accepting of themselves. The following are signs you could look out for to check if your teen may be in a cult. One sign is when your teen is having difficulty controlling and having relationships with family and friends outside a particular cult.

Another sign is they may have trouble handling their finances as well as other responsibilities. They may also have violent and negative change in their behavior or attitude. They also may lack care or concern in their regular everyday functions, especially even activities they used to do and enjoy. All in all, parents must always keep the communication line open. As much as possible, always stay constantly in touch with whatever that is happening in your teens lives. This is an important process prior to their transition to becoming young adults. Also, insecurity is what cults prey on. Always establish the self-esteem of your teens.

Help your teens cope with stress and change. Since cults offer a sense of belonging, it is important that you help your teens join full-fledged youth groups, church groups or other positively constructive organizations. Most importantly, always assure your teens of your support and love. Usually, parents assume kids know that they are loved but it helps that you tell, show and help them feel it.

YOUR TEEN AND THE INTERNET
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Know if your teen is internet-addicted When Joey’s parents decided to give him a personal computer inside his room, they thought it was a good idea because Joey was already a junior in high school. Though at first they watched cautiously what their son was doing, in order to make sure he steered clear away from porn websites and violent Internet content, they later became complacent and no longer found the need to watch over Joey’s shoulders. Joey later learned about chat rooms and email. Soon, he spent a lot of his time online and was angry when made to join the family for dinner. His A grades dropped to as low as D. Concerned, his parents decided to take the computer away from him. Joey became violent and threatened to hurt himself. His parents eventually sought some counseling for Joey’s addiction to the Internet.

The fact is, though the Internet is a useful tool in today’s current age, it is also a means of escape for a lot of users including teens. Like other addictions, Internet addiction is also marked by such symptoms as withdrawal, social relationship interruption, and changes in mood. Teens could be addicted to any of the following Internet features: net gaming – various activities and games, online shopping, auctions, online casinos; cyber-relationships – chat rooms, virtual friends.

The following are some more signs to lookout for in order to know if your teen is indeed addicted to the Internet.
Time becomes relative When it comes to being online, no time is actually enough.
What to you has been almost a whole day looking at your teen ogling and clicking on the computer, your teen finds this as a mere moment and might actually spend a whole night – if not until morning – still at the computer.
 Addiction to the Internet occurs when your teen loses track of time and makes the computer his morning, lunch and evening friend.
Worst, he may even refuse to wake up early and go to school, having spent the whole night till the wee hours of the morning surfing or chatting.
Sleep becomes unnecessary Internet addiction occurs when your teen deprives himself of needed sleep in order to spend a significant amount of time doing stuff online.
Sleep may even become an enemy. An intrusive nuisance that prevents him from seeing all the content there is to see on the World Wide Web.
Angry when interrupted Your teen may be addicted to the Internet when he suddenly becomes angry or agitated when the time he spends online is unnecessarily interrupted. He may also have the penchant to regularly check his email more than three times a day.
He may also suddenly become irritated if Internet access is not allowed. To him, nothing is more important than online time. This definitely beats the time spent with family or friends.

Unfortunately, addiction to the Internet may cause your teen to isolate himself from people including those close to him.

Who may be addicted to the Internet?
Believe it or not, females as well as males are susceptible to Internet addiction. More prone to such an addiction are those who have little connection with people and so they seek companionship and refuge online. The Internet is also a means for escape especially to those individuals who may already be suffering from various psychological depression or anxiety.

The following are some of the safety guidelines you could use to be able to keep your teen away from addiction and make them safe from online prowlers.

As much as possible, do not reveal any personal info such as your address, name phone number.

Also, never send pictures of you or anyone you know or care about online.

It is also not advisable to call someone or have a phone conversation with a person you meet in the Internet.

Do not physically meet with anyone in the Internet.

Remind everyone in the household that not all one meets online is telling the whole truth.

Tell your teens to always consult with a teacher or parent when someone online has posted or has made nasty, rude or suggestive remarks or anything that has made him uncomfortable.

Also, it is a necessity that no one ever reveals his or her passwords.

All in all, one needs to be proactive when using the Internet in order to prevent unnecessary problems in the long run.

TREATMENT FOR YOUR TEEN
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Effective treatments for your teens There are currently lots of families who are going through the struggle to find the help that is appropriate for their own teens who are emotionally troubled. Fortunately, there is currently a study that has been released which details treatment options for adolescents and teens.

The study describes that a lot of teens that have emotional or behavioral problems were able to appropriately respond to treatments such as group or individual therapy instead via a residential private treatment program. Most of the adolescents treated were for behaviors that were disruptive, substance abuse, and mood disorder. The results confirmed that those who were able to attend a treatment residential program showed improvement in their behavioral and psychological problems.

It was discovered that the behaviors of those teens who were clinically impaired prior to the residential treatment, were eventually changed to normal after such a treatment. This was according to Ellen Behrens, a doctor and lead researcher at the Canyon Research Consulting at Utah’s Salt Lake City. Also, it was the teens that have rated themselves as behaving normally after the treatment.

Such a finding is considered significant for parents as well as the teens as there has also been reported improvement in their family dynamics and personal communication. Also, the teen’s aggressiveness, penchant for breaking the rules and withdrawal were also diminished. Usually, the main cause for why teens are treated is due to depression. The usual therapy for such is medication and therapy.

The following are other forms of therapy and treatment that could help you and your teen stay permanently away from the muck that depression causes.

One such therapy is cognitive-behavioral treatment where the focus lies on what are the possible causes of depression as well as in changing one’s thought negative patterns.

Another form of treatment is group therapy wherein such a method has proved to be useful for teens as it helps break down their feelings of being isolated. Believe it or not, it is a big help just knowing that one is not alone in feeling a certain way.

Another treatment option you and your teen may undergo is family therapy. It is an add-on to individual treatment therapy and could also help address communication patterns the whole family uses as well as some ways the whole family could restructure in order to support all the family members. Everyone thereby becomes concerned and responsible for any event that occurs within the family.

Believe it or not, another form of treatment for your teen is physical exercise. It actually helps the chemistry of the brain to make more serotonin and endorphins which make it possible to make a positive change in one’s mood.

Another form of treatment is creative expression, which could be had by engaging in music, art or drama. It could also serve as an outlet for emotions that may be strong especially during adolescence.

Doing volunteer work is another treatment that could prove to be helpful. Adolescents who help someone could actually serve to change one’s perspective and give additional meaning and purpose to a teen’s life.

Undergoing medication to help heal depression must always be used with extreme caution as well as supervision. Studies made by the government of UK as well as the US’ FDA have expressed warnings which indicate that not all drugs for psychiatric use is appropriate for kids and teens.

Treatment such as hospitalization may also be a necessity especially in situations where a particular teen needs to be observed constantly and cared for in order to help prevent behavior that may be self-destructive.

Special kind of schools, challenges and boot camps could also be recommended treatments for teens that are troubled. Such treatment alternatives are actually intended to assist adolescents to learn skills for coping, have confidence, establish communication and trust with others and deal with behaviors that prove to be negative.

Take note however that such treatments depend on the people who run the program. They may not be trained professionals and so could use humiliation, confrontation, measures that are punitive to make one break down instead of building up internal positive strengths. All in all, treatments work best if everyone is genuinely concerned to better a teen’s welfare and help create in him a positive self-image.

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